Goals, Dreams, and Rules

“It’s beyond my wildest Dreams?”

Really? How wild were your dreams?

Has anyone achieved anything of significance without at least dreaming of it (possible or not)?

Dreams, goals, and rules can all play a large part in the direction our lives take.  They are linked to our aspirations but they are certainly not all the same thing.

Dreams

I have previously stressed the importance of sleep, but dreaming isn’t just a bedtime activity. Aspirational dreaming is more linked to goal setting as we create mental images of our desired future.  I was listening to an interview with Richard Koch, his studies have shown that those with bigger dreams achieve more whether they fully realise them or not. Dream big and dream bold. Reach for the Moon, or Mars (if that is entrende?) or go bigger than anyone else.

👍Pros of Aspirational Dreaming:👍

• Provides inspiration and motivation to work towards goals with greater determination
• Helps to identify passions and desires
• Encourages creativity and innovation
• Can lead to personal growth and development
• Gives clarity and purpose – visualising success can help define priorities and direction.
• Resilience – when faced with challenges, resilience is enhanced by reminding us of our long-term objectives and the benefits of overcoming any obstacles.
• Positive outlook – envisioning a successful future develops a positive mindset. This can improve overall well-being and attitude. It’s one of my favourites as this helps promote gratitude and happiness!!

👎Cons to Aspirational Dreaming:👎

• Potential for disappointment.
• Overemphasis on Material Success
• Can lead to a lack of focus or direction if dreams are not broken down into achievable goals
• Similarly they can be a distraction or a tool for procrastination
• We may have the wrong aspiration or more likely, we make a mistake in what we believe/predict will make us happy. (Happiness being linked to most aspirations) I highly, recommend ‘Stumbling upon Happiness’ by Daniel Gilbert if you want to explore this further.
• Furthermore, do we know how to reward ourselves? What is personal satisfaction and the right balance between striving vs contentment? (Another blog post?!)

Goal setting and Action planning

By balancing aspirational dreaming with ‘clever’ goal setting and actionable steps we can help maximise the benefits as well as mitigate the potential drawbacks.  The goals provide the destination while the actionable steps provide the directions to that destination.  It’s important, if not essential, we have the opportunity to take a look at the map and work out where you are and where you are going.

Our journey through life only stops at the very end. So quitting isn’t stopping, and neither is not taking action.  Both just change your direction. You will continue on your journey, there is no pause in time travel,  but you may not be heading towards where you aspire to be.

So take some of that time to explore and define your aspirations, break them down into goals and actions to map out your journey.

Small, easy, binary steps are great wherever possible. Do or not do.

Frameworks for ‘clever’ goal setting provide structure and enhance the likelihood of successful execution.  (Clever was chosen for a reason, smart is not the only way)

Goal frameworks include (not limited to):

1. CLEAR – Collaborative, Limited,  Emotional, Appreciable, Refinable
2. FAST -Frequently discussed, Ambitious, Specific, Transparent
3. SMART- Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.

The best framework depends on the characteristics of the aspiration/target.  Do not be afraid to integrate the frameworks.

Whatever you do though, I am a very strong believer in testing and retesting. Monitoring and Reevaluating are essential steps.     It may sound obvious, but it is very important that we monitor the correct metrics.   I don’t have to explain to too many people that they don’t need to see how fast they can run if the goal is a huge bench press!  However, we do have to explain how monitoring their weight will not give them the secrets to the universe and indicate all other potential transformations that they may think their weight highlights!!

We employ:

Regular Assessment:

Regularly review your goals to assess progress. Set specific intervals. The time frame needs to consider how much was set to be achieved or is expected. We generally use monthly to reflect on achievements and identify areas that may need adjustment.

Measurable Metrics:

Define measurable metrics for each goal. This allows you to track your progress objectively. Quantifiable indicators make it easier to determine success and identify areas requiring improvement. This isn’t always possible. If someone wants to change the way they look it is subjective.  However, if it is that, as an example, then take a picture but also try to pin down some metrics that will be stepping stones to this transformation, ones that can be explicitly measured.

Feedback Mechanism:

Establish a feedback mechanism. We coach our clients, feedback, and reevaluate once a month so we can strategize the month ahead. Where necessary we pool the feedback from others.   External perspectives can provide valuable insights and suggestions for refining your goals.  Input from mentors, peers, or experts in the relevant field is very useful to include.

Adjustable Targets:

Recognise that circumstances may change. Be open and prepared to adjust your goals if necessary. Life events, shifts in priorities, or unexpected challenges may require you to recalibrate your objectives. A degree of flexibility is key. Being adaptable allows you to respond to new opportunities or challenges without rigidly sticking to initial plans. Like many things, there is a balance.  When coaching we are ensuring you are doing this with someone any changes are considered well-balanced and not just quitting on your dreams as hurdles are presented.

Reflect on Values:

Periodically reflect on your core values, personal growth, and evolving priorities. Ensure that your goals align with these values to maintain a sense of purpose and fulfillment.  Our core values tend not to change overnight but we do evolve and our aspirations shift.  Often, we would be a surprise to our younger self.

Celebrate Milestones:

This is so important!  Life is a journey and continues even after we achieve our goals. (We’ll set new ones) Winning helps us enjoy this journey.  So, acknowledge and celebrate all smaller milestones along the way. The enjoyment we get helps maintain motivation and provides an opportunity to reassess whether your original goals still align with your aspirations.

Learn from Setbacks:

We must celebrate our wins, but we also need to see failure for the valuable lessons it brings.  View setbacks as learning opportunities. If you encounter challenges or setbacks, analyze the root causes and use that information to adjust your approach or modify your goals. The fear of failure is crippling society today.  Adopting a healthier attitude and embracing failure is paramount.

Input from Others.

Engage in conversations with trusted friends, mentors, and colleagues. They can offer valuable perspectives.  They can also be your accountability partners.  Include them in your feedback mechanism.

In summary, the process of goal setting is iterative. Regular monitoring of yourself and your goals allows for essential adjustments that keep you on a path that resonates with your evolving self.

Once you have broken down your aspiration into goals and then further into actionable steps, it is time to act.   If these actions are clearly defined and well considered with the ability to test, retest, and adapt you can be confident that all you need is to follow the map you’ll get where you want to be.  All that is left is to take the next step!

The Power of Life Rules.

One thing I employ with myself is a step further.  I prioritise my goal actions and then once I’ve considered the pros and cons, I may commit to turning them into a life rule.  This is a powerful step so it’s important it’s well thought through before making the commitment.

👍Pros to Life Rules 👍

Rigid and Restrictive

👎Cons to Life Rules👎

Rigid and restrictive

For me, I cannot break a personal life rule.  Powerful enough to adhere to but also lying to yourself is very dangerous.

One rule I have for myself is to do something healthy every day.   This may be anything from a HIIT session, a 3-hour walk outdoors with the family,  or a minute of breathing work.   The reason I set this rule is that it means I am daily mindful of my health.  My attitude or the question I ask is what can I do and what am I going to do today.  This can make ‘bad’ days not so bad and make good days more frequent and more beneficial.

Do you dream?

How do you define your goals?

Do you take action?

Do you have any rules?

Examples of me:

• Set your goals with consideration do not set your dreams.
• Commit to rules and never break them.
• Important to never lie to yourself.
• You need to trust yourself.
• Happiness and satisfaction are linked.

Here are some pros and cons:

👍Pros 👍

– Provides structure and discipline

– Helps to establish healthy habits and routines

– Provides a sense of control and stability

– Helps to establish boundaries and priorities

– Can lead to personal growth and development

👎Cons 👎

– Can be too rigid or inflexible

– Can lead to a lack of spontaneity or creativity

– Can be limiting if rules are too strict or unrealistic

– Can lead to a lack of adaptability in changing circumstances

In summary, goal setting, dreaming, and life rules all have their pros and cons. It is important to find a balance between these concepts and tailor them to your individual needs and circumstances. By doing so, you can achieve success and happiness in your life.